KVIA channel 7

Questions and Answers for the month of December 2014!

1.Where is Bob Harp?

Bob Harp is anchoring the CW News at 9 PM. I apologize, it is now known as the KVIA News at 9. What was hilarious during the first few weeks of Bob anchoring was his constant reminders of how him and Nichole are still young! If you have to remind the public that you are young, then you are not really young at all. Once you hit 25, you are considered an old fart. For the record, Nichole is 33 or 34 and Bob is well into his late 30s. SO you are not young anymore! Just worry about the news and the weather instead of your age! Okay!

2.Is it True that Shelton Dodson won a Peabody award?

Correction:

We made a mistake! At least we admit that we make mistakes! Anyway, Shelton did receive an award from the New Mexico Broadcasters Association! Shelton received an Excellence in Broadcasting award for Metro Market Reporter for 2007. We apologize for this mistake! To view the full list of recipients for 2007, visit the website below!

http://www.newmexicobroadcasters.org/awards/2007Excellence.php

As far as I know, he never won a Peabody. I read Shelton’s bio on the new KDBC website and I also noticed the mention of a Peabody award. As of a month ago that claim has been removed from his bio. Supposedly he also won an award for Best Anchor or Reporter of the year in New Mexico? I cannot recall him ever receiving an award or being nominated by the New Mexico Broadcasters Association. If he did receive an award it was probably for having an ego larger than Texass!

3. Where was Cristina Rodda hiding?

Umm? She was working for KOB or KRQE news in ABQ from 2010 to 2011. She then took a job with the New Mexico Department of Corrections as a PR rep. Cristina quit her job or was fired, and worked in Las Vegas for some news station as a weekend anchor/reporter. She has now rotated back to El Paso and is currently boring the s**t out of each and every KTSM morning news viewer.

4.What happened to Melissa Gunderson?
She left KFOX a few weeks ago to pursue a real career in journalism! Chrisdeeman Uribe has now filled that position with her crappy hair extensions, five pounds of makeup, and stupid giggles/laughs! Enjoy viewing the Social News segment and traffic reports suckers!

5. Do you consider local news anchors and reporters celebrities?
NO!

6.Are you done criticizing the local news stations?
No. If you ask me questions about local newsheads, I will respond truthfully and will always include a few jabs. As far as writing full posts about local newsheads, me and my crew are done with that!

7.Why did KVIA screw Denise Olivas over?

You know Denise might not be the best anchor or reporter that KVIA has in their lineup. But she is more pleasant than Stephanie (Lollipop) Valle. Ever since Steph lost half of her body weight, she has developed an over confident personality. Anyway, Denise’s problem is that she still suffers from camera anxiety and shyness. One would think that after working for five years behind and in front of a camera she would have overcome her fears/anxiety. If Denise were to take a Valium, she could probably put Steph to shame!

8.Where the f**k is Louie Del Rio half the time?
Your guess is as good as mine! I am telling you that Louie hates this city more than going a day without his wiggle around like an idiot juice! This mofo probably spends his off days drinking 50 cups of black coffee.

9.Have you ever seen any local newsheads without their makeup?
Yes.Stephanie Valle without makeup looks nothing like Stephanie Valle. She wears fake eye lashes BRO! Josie (H.O.P.) Ortegon looks great without makeup. Seriously, I am not being sarcastic. Adrienne Alvarez looks good without makeup.Then again when you are kicking man ass all over New Mexico and Texas, makeup tends to get in the way of your ass kicking. A few years ago, I ran into Jackie Crea and I had no clue that it was Jackie Crea! Her face can pretty much be found in a makeup bag! For a minute I thought I was talking to a dude. Denise Olivas looks okay without makeup. Who else? I will try to recall some others at a later date. If a chick needs to wear fake lashes, tons of makeup, and a push up bra, then she is not a natural or shall I say a true beauty.

10.Why are you and your crew haters?
We are not haters! We are comedians! Peace and love from a dove up above!

11.Did Nichole Gomez have implants installed?
You know I am not sure. She either purchased a padded push up bra or she had implants shoved into her chest. You would have to ask her or her best bud Stephanie Valle that question.

KVIA EMail Exposed!

KVIA Emails Revealed!
I received these email messages a few days ago. Enjoy them!

From:Stephanie Valle <ANOREXICDIVA@kvia.com>
To:Karla Huelga <REDPUBESAREHOT@kvia.com>

Hey Karla, when do you want to have a vomit session? I cannot believe that I ate two carrot sticks and a slice of bread! I feel like such a pig for eating so much food! I need to expel all of this junk food ASAP! Meet me at the bathroom at 12:00 PM sharp!

 

From Rick Cabrera <BALDINGPEARSHAPEDHEAD@kvia.com>
To Nichole Gomez <HOTBUNZ@kvia.com>

Hey Nicki, I have to profess my lus…. I mean love for you right now! Is it not obvious to you and every viewer in El Crappo and in Las Cacas that I love you more than my job! How about you dump that tax write-off Randy Culpepper and become my wife! Your name would sound so much better as Nichole Gomez Culpepper Cabrera II.

 

From:Estella Casas <HOTGRANDMA@kvia.com>
To:Kevin Lowell <SKINNYDORK@kvia.com>

Hey jerk off, if you do not increase my pay, I will force you to listen to a demo tape that I made in the 1980s! It features covers of Billy Ocean and Peter Cetera songs! The last track features my Mommy! She does an acapella version of “Relax” from Frankie Does Hollywood! It is so bad that it will make your ears bleed for days!

 

From:Collin Carroll <HOWDYDOODYGINGER@kvia.com)
To:Kevin Lowell <SKINNYDORK@kvia.com>

Hey man, you should have given me Asher Wildman’s position! You know damn well that the position belonged to me and not Screwy Del Rio! Just for that I am going to mail my red ass hairs to you and every member in your family! Take that you skinny dork!

 

To:Josie Ortegon <INEEDTOLEARNHOWTOREAD@kvia.com>
From:Luke Lyddon <NEWSSTUD@kvia.com>

Hey Josie my Latin delight, how about you come over tonight and I tutor you on how to read correctly! That sounds like fun right?

 

From:Krystal Klei <INEEDSUNLIGHT@kvia.com>
To:Bob Harp <ILOOKSICKLY@kvia.com>

Hey Bob! You and I should go out and get a tan! Everybody and their mom keeps on telling me that I am so pale that they can see right through my body!

 

From:Denise Olivas <ANYONECANDOMYJOB@kvia.com>
To:Kevin Lowell <SKINNYDORK@kvia.com>

Please Kevin do not fire me! I need my job! If you do fire me, I will release that picture of you and Dan Rather wrestling naked in Mexico! I know that I am horrible at what I do, but that does not give you the right to fire me and then hire a Chimpanzee to take my place! Remember I can damage you!

 

From:Darren Hunt <DEGENERATEGAMBLER@kvia.com>
To:Kevin Lowell <SKINNYDORK@kvia.com>

Hey Kev! I just want to let you know that I am quitting my job next week! I am finally going to work for the Chihuauas! After reviewing my crappy resume, they finally decided to give me a job as a mascot! Hey I know that it is not the job that I wanted, but hey at least I am working for the best team in the Southwest! I will catch you later, I have to visit the Sunland Park race track and spend my fifty dollar pay check! Tomorrow Chuck Debroder and I will visit TItle Loans! We are going to use our loans to make stupid bets online! Toodles!

Louie Del Rio is……………………..

One annoying mofo! Has anybody seen this guy do a sports segment? As God is my witness, this dork cannot remain still for ten seconds! He has a tendency to move around a lot like a fish out of water! Seriously! He keeps on moving his upper body from side to side, and it also appears that he his fidgeting with papers or his crotch! Is this guy on speed or is he just nervous? Oh another thing that I noticed is that his face has a red flushed appearance. So maybe he is on something? Who knows? You be the judge! Anyway, Collin Carroll should have been given the weekday sports position, not this nervous thirty something with a teeny bopper hairdo! As much as Collin’s news reports annoy me, he is a better sports anchor/sports reporter than Louie “Speed Head” Del Rio! I honestly thought that Collin would be given Asher’s old position. Well I should not get worked up over this guy and neither should you! He will probably spend a year or less here, and will eventually get a position in Miami as Tony Montana’s supply tester! Peace!

Nichole Gomez and her Talents are being Squandered on doing the Stupid Weather!

I said it! Nichole has so much potential that it is not even funny! She has half the credentials and experience that her fellow co-workers have and she does a better job at reporting than most of them! If KVIA were to drop Stephanie Valle as the lead anchor for the CW News at 9 and replace her with Nichole, I would watch again! Or better yet, why not drop Denise Olivas from the midday show, and place Nichole in her seat! I swear that most people at KVIA have their heads up their asses! Reflecting on her time spent at KDBC aka KTSM, Nichole executed a few excellent reports/stories during her three to four year stint. It really is a shame that Nichole has been relagated to doing the weather and filling in for Doppler Dong or for Red Headed Monster Karla Smellga!

Colin Carroll is in love with Jenna Farrey!

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I decided to watch the KVIA news at 10 last night out of sheer boredom. Well as I was watching this spectacular newscast, KVIA’s own Buddy Holly impersonator was covering the arrival/booking of alleged kid killer Jenna Farrey. After covering the arrival/booking, Mr.Holly made an odd statement in his report about Jenna Farrey. And I quote “Farrey smelled as if she hadn’t taken a shower in a day or two!” Who gives a f**k about the way she smells or doesn’t smell? How is this relevant to the story? Why would Collin Carroll care about Jenna Farrey’s scent or musk? The only conclusion that I could arrive at, is that he probably likes Jenna Farrey and her smelly snatch. The only time a guy cares about the way a woman smells is when he likes her or is going down on her. That is it! All I have to say about Colin Carroll is that he is one sick son of a b***h.

Another thing, stop wearing those thick black 1950s glasses! You look like Buddy Holly’s younger retarded brother, Douchey Holly! KVIA already has a 1950s throwback in Matt Daughtery. You are not witty or even slightly intelligent. You are a snake reporter that is trying to build a resume filled with cliche after cliche, and lame attempts at being humorous/serious.

The CW News at 9 is slightly Improving!

I decided to watch the CW News at 9 today, and to be frank this is going to be my last view of the CW newscast. It seems that Steph is really trying hard to make this 30 minute newscast interesting to the public. But she is only making it somewhat interesting once a week with the “Out on the Town” segment. Is anybody else getting the impression that this segment is being done forcibly? When the first “Out on the Town” segment premiered last month, the only thing that entered my mind was “Stephanie and Nichole do not want to do this at all!” Especially Nichole! But you know what, they really are making an effort, and I do applaud them for that. The best thing for KVIA to do is to just place the CW news at 9 online on the KVIA website or on Youtube. If KVIA is worried about losing ad dollars, they can always use the YouTube ad revenue program. Just like Denise Olivas and her constant flubs, the CW News is not going to get any better with time. Why news stations insist on using the same old tired format is beyond my comprehension! Have a Good Night everybody!