kfoxtv 14 el paso

Stephanie Guadian gives Bad Advice!

A few years ago a Las Cruces restaurant was recommended by Stephanie Guadian. The name of that restaurant is Nellie’s! Oh boy do I regret visiting this restaurant! As everybody in Las Cacas knows, you have to wait to be seated. Now you are probably thinking to yourself, what is wrong with waiting? Well I have no problem with waiting for a table. The wait for a table at Nellie’s can be anywhere from 30 minutes to one whole hour! After waiting for an hour on a Saturday afternoon,my pops and I were given a table.Upon entering this establishment, we noticed that this place was the size of our house! This restaurant is small! Better yet this restaurant is very small. So be prepared to bump elbows with other patrons every ten minutes or so. Appetizers that are served are chile in a small bowl and salty/oily chips. My pops ordered enchiladas, and my nappy headed ass ordered a red or should I say chile colorado burrito. My pops felt that his meal lacked flavor. According to him he was eating tortillas with old shredded cheese. Now all I have to say about my meal is that it definitely lacked flavor. All I could taste was a slightly burned tortilla and chewy chunks of flavorless meat. For a minute I felt like a dog eating Gravy Train canned dog food. All it takes for me to remove a restaurant from my to visit list is one bad first visit (I guess first impressions really are important). Other people have told me to try other menu items and give Nellie’s another chance. I might return in the future. Who knows! When it comes to satisfying my urge for Mexican cuisine in LC, I make a trip to Roberto’s. So Stephanie did Nellie’s pay you to make positive comments about their grub? If they did, how much did they pay you? Or are you related to the owner or manager? Let me know!

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Steve Ortega’s Email Situation

I was sent a collection of Steve Ortega’s emails a few days ago. I have decided to release a few of those emails. So here they are for your reading pleasure.

Incoming email received 6/22/2011 6:30 PM

From:Courtney Niland <BIGBEEFY@gmail.com>

Date:Wed, 22 Jun 2011 00:21:45

To:Steve Ortega <BALDINGSNAKE@yahoo.com>

Subject:Working out

Hey bro, it’s me big Courtney, when are you going to let me train you on weightlifting. We can workout at Planet Fitness you can spot me, and I can spot you. Laters bro!

Incoming email received 7/01/2010 8:30 AM

From:Emma Acosta <BADTEETH@att.net>

Date:Thu, 01 Jul 2010 00:08:45

To:Steve Ortega<BALDINGSNAKE@yahoo.com>

Subject:Slums for rent

Hey Steve! I was wondering if you know of anyone that might be interested in renting one of my slums? If you do let me know ASAP. Slumlord forever!

 

Incoming email received 12/23/2012 4:30 PM

From:John Cook <SHITTYMAYOR@gmail.com>

Date:Tue, 23 Dec 2012 00:04:45

To:Steve Ortega<BALDINGSNAKE@yahoo.com>

Subject:My new album!

Hey Stevey! I am going to release my new album on CD and on Itunes! It is titled “Hacky No Talent I could not sing to save my Own Life Vol I”. I will place a copy in your mailbox. Be sure to tell your family and your proctologist about it!

 

Incoming email received 02/13/2011 2:30 PM

From:Sergio Lewis<INEEDTOSHAVEMYHAIROFFAlREADY@yahoo.com>

Date:Mon, 13 Feb 2011 00:02:35

To:Steve Ortega <BALDINGSNAKE@yahoo.com>

Subject:The hair club

Hey Steve, should we join the hair club for men or just shave our heads already? I think that there is still hope for you! As for me, I think I am going to shave the four strands of hair that I have left! Okay, I have to go now, my bodyshop needs me! Those damn Mexicans want real money instead of the two bean burros I give them everyday!

 

Incoming email received 01/20/2010 2:58 PM

From:Susie Byrd <SMELLYDIRTYLOOKINGWEIRDO@gmail.com>

Date:Thu, 20 Jan 2010 00:03:00

To:Steve Ortega <BALDINGSNAKE@yahoo.com>

Subject:Your opinion

I was wondering Steve, should I bathe daily or just once a week? What do you think?

 

Incoming email received 04/05/2012 1:28 PM

From:Joyce Wilson <UGLYLOOKINGPUPPET@gmail.com>

Date:Fri, 05 Apr 2012  00:01:30

To:Steve Ortega <BALDINGSNAKE@yahoo.com>

Subject:El Paso Baseball Mascott

Hola Steve! I was approached by the owner of the new baseball stadium yesterday. He asked me if he could use my image/likeness for the baseball team mascott. Of course I said yes! You know me I am one greedy prune! He paid me 20 grand and he also gave me a gift card to Pets Barn so I could buy food for myself. Cool Huh? The new mascott is going to be called Prune Face Pamela. The name of the new team is The El Paso Prunes! Toodles! Oh yeah, the owner also said that he will give you a box of baseball hats to cover your balding head!