David Tutera has glued his eyes shut after visiting the Sun Sh***ty, I mean City.
According to various reports, David Tutera arrived in the Sun City yesterday night. Within a matter of minutes, Mr.Tutera became depressed and asked his manager if she had any speed or a joke sized bottle of Jack Daniels. Her reply was “No David I did not bring your favorite party items along for this wonderful trip!” To which David replied, “Ah F**K you did not tell me that we would be visiting the badlands of Australia!” Mr.Tutera’s manager again replied “David we are not in Australia! We are still in the States, to be exact we are in El Paso,Texas!” Mr.Tutera quickly found a plastic fork and tried to slit his wrists, but to no avail. He was not able to complete the act or seal the deal! Mr.Tutera eventually found something better than speed to help him cope with the ugly site that is El Paso. He found a bottle of Super Glue and has permanently closed his eye lids. Is that not awesome or what? You Mr.Tutera are one brave son of a gun! Salute!