Im(Press)ive! Your Year in Review

The Blog

Millions of new sites created and posts published later, 2014 is in the books. We could regale you with big numbers, like these…

Total New Blogs
That’s 49,997 new blogs per day!
Total Posts
Or more than 1.5 million per day — not too shabby. 47 million were published from mobile devices, because you’re on the go.
Bytes of Data per Hour
24.5 Trillion
(Thanks for keeping us so busy!)

… but the most important part of Automattic is what you make with the tools we offer. This year, we thought we’d look back at some of your successes, and how we were able to support the incredible things you created and shared.

To Publish a Mockingbird

With beautifully detailed portraits finished with bodies out of a toddler’s dream, the drawings illustrator Mica creates with her four-year-old daughter are captivating — the post of images she published on Busy Mockingbird has been viewed…

View original post 1,055 more words

Shelton Dodson is full of Poo Doo!

Has anyone seen the new News 4 promo that has been airing for the past week? If you have yet to see it, let me summarize it for you! Shelton is asked a question about KDBC 4.The question is “What happened to KDBC 4?” Shelton’s response is that KDBC 4 fell off in the late 1980s? Are you serious? How would Shelton know that? As far as I know he was still living in New Mexico. But what is hilarious to me is that this ego maniac took a job with KDBC in 2004! (I thought KDBC fell off in the 80s? I guess since Shelton was present it never fell off!) So when did KDBC turn into a second rate station? Once the late 90s arrived, KDBC started having problems. These problems were caused by poor management, and not by a lack of resources like Patricia Maese stated in her promo. Bad management and anchors/reporters with ego problems are what caused the downfall of KDBC4. It is as simple as that.

There is no GOD! Mr.Box Office is Back!

For a minute I really did believe that Mr.Box Office was cancelled! Guess what? It has not been cancelled! A new season of Mr.Box Office is currently in production as we speak! Seriously! Visit the official facebook page! This show is so bad that it is used to torture people into confessing to crimes that they did not commit. Prisons are also using it to kill death row inmates in a peaceful and humane manner. This show is so bad that Arsenio Hall refuses to make a guest appearance on it. So what does that tell you! Someone needs to create an online petition to have this show removed from the airwaves! I will gladly sign it and ask some of my friends to sign it in blood! If you are an up and coming actor or actress and appear on this show, you are committing career suicide! Before appearing on this show, give it some thought. I heard a rumor that Byron Allen is paying extras and guest actors in microwaveable TV dinners and twelve packs of Great Value soda. Is it really worth it? Again think about it!

Mike DiSerio and Me! (Crappy 2007 Story)

Around mid 2007 I was jogging at Ascarate Park and enjoying the rancid smell of duck crap along with algae and garbage. As mile number two was approaching, a KFOX van catches my eye. Standing outside of that van was Mike DiSerio and his cameraman Mr.Persistent. After jogging a mile, Mike DiSerio starts walking towards me and gives me the impression that he wants to ask me a question. When Mike and I lock eyes (no homo) he turns away and stands behind the van. “What the f**k did I just witness?” I told myself. It was so odd to see a reporter do that. Usually a reporter or his camera jockey will ask you to give a statement about a topic. It was almost as if he was afraid to ask me a question. Weird is all I have to say.

Stephanie Guadian gives Bad Advice!

A few years ago a Las Cruces restaurant was recommended by Stephanie Guadian. The name of that restaurant is Nellie’s! Oh boy do I regret visiting this restaurant! As everybody in Las Cacas knows, you have to wait to be seated. Now you are probably thinking to yourself, what is wrong with waiting? Well I have no problem with waiting for a table. The wait for a table at Nellie’s can be anywhere from 30 minutes to one whole hour! After waiting for an hour on a Saturday afternoon,my pops and I were given a table.Upon entering this establishment, we noticed that this place was the size of our house! This restaurant is small! Better yet this restaurant is very small. So be prepared to bump elbows with other patrons every ten minutes or so. Appetizers that are served are chile in a small bowl and salty/oily chips. My pops ordered enchiladas, and my nappy headed ass ordered a red or should I say chile colorado burrito. My pops felt that his meal lacked flavor. According to him he was eating tortillas with old shredded cheese. Now all I have to say about my meal is that it definitely lacked flavor. All I could taste was a slightly burned tortilla and chewy chunks of flavorless meat. For a minute I felt like a dog eating Gravy Train canned dog food. All it takes for me to remove a restaurant from my to visit list is one bad first visit (I guess first impressions really are important). Other people have told me to try other menu items and give Nellie’s another chance. I might return in the future. Who knows! When it comes to satisfying my urge for Mexican cuisine in LC, I make a trip to Roberto’s. So Stephanie did Nellie’s pay you to make positive comments about their grub? If they did, how much did they pay you? Or are you related to the owner or manager? Let me know!

Questions and Answers for the month of December 2014!

1.Where is Bob Harp?

Bob Harp is anchoring the CW News at 9 PM. I apologize, it is now known as the KVIA News at 9. What was hilarious during the first few weeks of Bob anchoring was his constant reminders of how him and Nichole are still young! If you have to remind the public that you are young, then you are not really young at all. Once you hit 25, you are considered an old fart. For the record, Nichole is 33 or 34 and Bob is well into his late 30s. SO you are not young anymore! Just worry about the news and the weather instead of your age! Okay!

2.Is it True that Shelton Dodson won a Peabody award?


We made a mistake! At least we admit that we make mistakes! Anyway, Shelton did receive an award from the New Mexico Broadcasters Association! Shelton received an Excellence in Broadcasting award for Metro Market Reporter for 2007. We apologize for this mistake! To view the full list of recipients for 2007, visit the website below!

As far as I know, he never won a Peabody. I read Shelton’s bio on the new KDBC website and I also noticed the mention of a Peabody award. As of a month ago that claim has been removed from his bio. Supposedly he also won an award for Best Anchor or Reporter of the year in New Mexico? I cannot recall him ever receiving an award or being nominated by the New Mexico Broadcasters Association. If he did receive an award it was probably for having an ego larger than Texass!

3. Where was Cristina Rodda hiding?

Umm? She was working for KOB or KRQE news in ABQ from 2010 to 2011. She then took a job with the New Mexico Department of Corrections as a PR rep. Cristina quit her job or was fired, and worked in Las Vegas for some news station as a weekend anchor/reporter. She has now rotated back to El Paso and is currently boring the s**t out of each and every KTSM morning news viewer.

4.What happened to Melissa Gunderson?
She left KFOX a few weeks ago to pursue a real career in journalism! Chrisdeeman Uribe has now filled that position with her crappy hair extensions, five pounds of makeup, and stupid giggles/laughs! Enjoy viewing the Social News segment and traffic reports suckers!

5. Do you consider local news anchors and reporters celebrities?

6.Are you done criticizing the local news stations?
No. If you ask me questions about local newsheads, I will respond truthfully and will always include a few jabs. As far as writing full posts about local newsheads, me and my crew are done with that!

7.Why did KVIA screw Denise Olivas over?

You know Denise might not be the best anchor or reporter that KVIA has in their lineup. But she is more pleasant than Stephanie (Lollipop) Valle. Ever since Steph lost half of her body weight, she has developed an over confident personality. Anyway, Denise’s problem is that she still suffers from camera anxiety and shyness. One would think that after working for five years behind and in front of a camera she would have overcome her fears/anxiety. If Denise were to take a Valium, she could probably put Steph to shame!

8.Where the f**k is Louie Del Rio half the time?
Your guess is as good as mine! I am telling you that Louie hates this city more than going a day without his wiggle around like an idiot juice! This mofo probably spends his off days drinking 50 cups of black coffee.

9.Have you ever seen any local newsheads without their makeup?
Yes.Stephanie Valle without makeup looks nothing like Stephanie Valle. She wears fake eye lashes BRO! Josie (H.O.P.) Ortegon looks great without makeup. Seriously, I am not being sarcastic. Adrienne Alvarez looks good without makeup.Then again when you are kicking man ass all over New Mexico and Texas, makeup tends to get in the way of your ass kicking. A few years ago, I ran into Jackie Crea and I had no clue that it was Jackie Crea! Her face can pretty much be found in a makeup bag! For a minute I thought I was talking to a dude. Denise Olivas looks okay without makeup. Who else? I will try to recall some others at a later date. If a chick needs to wear fake lashes, tons of makeup, and a push up bra, then she is not a natural or shall I say a true beauty.

10.Why are you and your crew haters?
We are not haters! We are comedians! Peace and love from a dove up above!

11.Did Nichole Gomez have implants installed?
You know I am not sure. She either purchased a padded push up bra or she had implants shoved into her chest. You would have to ask her or her best bud Stephanie Valle that question.

The Idea that Hispanic People Should Always support Fellow Hispanics…………….

In everything they do even though what they are doing is absurd or silly is disturbing to EVERY member of The City Workshop! Take for example the ABC TV show Cristela. Everybody in the Southwest has told us that this show is hilarious, and that we need to watch it for the mere fact that we are Hispanic! WTF! So upon hearing this recommendation, we decided to watch Cristela aka Crappella for two weeks in a row. Guess what! This show did not make any of us laugh even once! The show is full or should I say filled with stupid stereotypes, canned audience laughter, and a lot of bad acting! The only one that is turning in a decent performance is Fluffy aka Gabriel Iglesias.The only thing that we could agree on is that Gabriel Iglesias needs his own TV show, but on a cable network like HBO or Showtime. When watching Cristela we had flashbacks about The George Lopez show. Everybody and their mother said the same thing about the George Lopez show! We watched and realized that the show was about as funny as the Holocaust. Forgive us for saying this, Cristela is not funny, and we are not going to support it! Even though we are Hispanic.

Here is another example! Eddie Holguin! Lets be honest here! Eddie Holguin embarrassed the City of El Paso. He really did! With his bargain bin Christmas lights and two dollar security, he made El Paso look like a town full of cheap asses! When the bargain bin light fiasco occurred, we remember hearing people say “Hey you should support Eddie! He is Mexican American!” (WTF! I thought we were all American!) Anyway, our response to this was ” We should support him because he is Mexican American? Are you serious? Did you support Richard Ramirez when he was killing people in California? He was Hispanic or should I say Mexican American!” This whole idea of Hispanic people supporting other Hispanic people in everything they do just because they are Hispanic is stupid/silly! How about we support any human being that is doing something positive regardless of his or her skin color or ethnicity!

The New KDBC CBS 4!

All I have to say about KDBC CBS 4 is that is a carbon copy of KFOX TV 14! These two stations are operating independently of each other? Give me a huge break across my nappy head with a baseball bat! If you do not believe me all you have to do is record the 10 PM KDBC broadcast and compare it to the 9 PM KFOX broadcast! As I previously stated in my post “Remembering the KDBC 4 Dream Team”, KDBC should no longer exist! It should have faded into history along with bell bottom pants and mood rings! What a shame! I had so much hope for this “new” KDBC 4! Good Night everyone!

KVIA EMail Exposed!

KVIA Emails Revealed!
I received these email messages a few days ago. Enjoy them!

From:Stephanie Valle <>
To:Karla Huelga <>

Hey Karla, when do you want to have a vomit session? I cannot believe that I ate two carrot sticks and a slice of bread! I feel like such a pig for eating so much food! I need to expel all of this junk food ASAP! Meet me at the bathroom at 12:00 PM sharp!


From Rick Cabrera <>
To Nichole Gomez <>

Hey Nicki, I have to profess my lus…. I mean love for you right now! Is it not obvious to you and every viewer in El Crappo and in Las Cacas that I love you more than my job! How about you dump that tax write-off Randy Culpepper and become my wife! Your name would sound so much better as Nichole Gomez Culpepper Cabrera II.


From:Estella Casas <>
To:Kevin Lowell <>

Hey jerk off, if you do not increase my pay, I will force you to listen to a demo tape that I made in the 1980s! It features covers of Billy Ocean and Peter Cetera songs! The last track features my Mommy! She does an acapella version of “Relax” from Frankie Does Hollywood! It is so bad that it will make your ears bleed for days!


From:Collin Carroll <
To:Kevin Lowell <>

Hey man, you should have given me Asher Wildman’s position! You know damn well that the position belonged to me and not Screwy Del Rio! Just for that I am going to mail my red ass hairs to you and every member in your family! Take that you skinny dork!


To:Josie Ortegon <>
From:Luke Lyddon <>

Hey Josie my Latin delight, how about you come over tonight and I tutor you on how to read correctly! That sounds like fun right?


From:Krystal Klei <>
To:Bob Harp <>

Hey Bob! You and I should go out and get a tan! Everybody and their mom keeps on telling me that I am so pale that they can see right through my body!


From:Denise Olivas <>
To:Kevin Lowell <>

Please Kevin do not fire me! I need my job! If you do fire me, I will release that picture of you and Dan Rather wrestling naked in Mexico! I know that I am horrible at what I do, but that does not give you the right to fire me and then hire a Chimpanzee to take my place! Remember I can damage you!


From:Darren Hunt <>
To:Kevin Lowell <>

Hey Kev! I just want to let you know that I am quitting my job next week! I am finally going to work for the Chihuauas! After reviewing my crappy resume, they finally decided to give me a job as a mascot! Hey I know that it is not the job that I wanted, but hey at least I am working for the best team in the Southwest! I will catch you later, I have to visit the Sunland Park race track and spend my fifty dollar pay check! Tomorrow Chuck Debroder and I will visit TItle Loans! We are going to use our loans to make stupid bets online! Toodles!