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Funny Commentary from a Funny Fool!
Pizza Patron Has Ceased to Exist in El Paso County!
Am I shocked over the closing of each and every Pizza Patron? No, not really. The first and only time that I ate a pie from Pizza Patron was in January of 2005. It was nothing special, it was a large pepperoni and cheese pie that cost around seven or eight dollars. This pizza reminded me of a pizza that you can buy at your local grocery store for a couple of bucks. To be honest with you, I only bought it and ate it out of curiosity. At the time everybody and their mother was praising Pizza Patron, and the fact that the company was using a hispanic characture for their logo. At the tender age of 21, I did not give two cents about a company logo or a two bit motto. The only thing that mattered to me was the taste and the appearance of the pizza. In 2013, that is still the case with me and most pizza eaters.
So why did all of the Pizza Patron locations close? Was it a lack of customers? Was the owner arrested for doing something illegal? Were the Pizza Patron locations nothing more than fronts? Who in the blue hell knows? All that I know is that they served mediocre pizza, and I will not miss Pizza Patron at all. Adios Pizza Patron! You sucked big time!
Lissette Garcia is Long Gone from El Paso!
Yes. Ms.Garcia is back in her hometown of Miami, Florida. So why is she back in her hometown of Miami? That is an excellent question. At this point the only thing that I can do is speculate as to why she is no longer with KFox. I believe that she left for this reason alone, she did not like El Paso and the Mad Max appearance it has. Or she might have been fired. She had a tendency to miss work a lot, even more than Stephanie Guadian. Well I will tell you this much, she lasted longer on the job than Jasmine Cruz aka Mrs.Ben Swann. If I can remember correctly she worked for KFox for about a month. She was terrible! I felt embarassed for her, I really did. Anyways, if anybody knows the real reason behind her departure, let me know in the comments section. Peace!
The KVIA Weight loss War!
There is a war going on at KVIA! And that war is the war against fat/weight! Yep! Your favorite KVIA female anchors are competing against each other to see as to who can lose the most weight! I am being dead serious about this! Ever since Nichole Gomez arrived two months ago, every female anchor has decided to cut back on eating, and go on a crash diet. Stephanie Valle, Maria Garcia, Whitney Burbank, and Vanessa De la Vina are shedding pounds by the minute. It is great that they are losing weight, but if they continue to lose, they are going to look like Karen Carpenter circa 1982. So whose idea was it for these ladies to lose weight? Is it Kevin Lovell’s idea? Does anybody know? Anyways, all of these Karen Carpenter wanna-bees have a target weight/goal. Stephanie Valle’s target is 90. Maria Garcia is going for 70. Whitney Burbank wants to get down to 50. Hilary Floren wants to drop down to 100. Karla does not want to lose anymore weight, she already weighs 45 lbs. I hope that all of these news chicks reach their goals, and can stay alive on just eating carrot sticks. Peace and love!
Joyce Wilson to leave El Crappo!
What a nice shot of Joyce Wilson! SEXY!
Joyce Wilson is set to leave El Paso! Are you telling me that she is not going to stay for the grand opening of the super duper baseball stadium? What a jerk off!
A Beard files a Report against a Fellow Beard!
Do you people really believe that Mark Mathis and Dyke Master Sara are a real couple? Please!
Channel 7 KVIA CW 9PM News:A Review!
Who came up with the idea of creating a 9PM news program on the CW? That is my first question. KVIA already has seven news programs running from Monday to Sunday. Is KVIA trying to steal KFOX 14 viewership? If they are, then KVIA needs to stop right now! For a lack of a better saying, the show is very boring or should I say unwatchable. You know what! The show is just terrible! I am very well aware of the fact that it is a new news show. But what is so unique about this news show? It is just like every other KVIA news program. There is not one new thing about it, well with the exception of Nichole Gomez. But other than that, what is the point? Why not do something different? Make it a full one hour show, and focus on other things like entertainment, local events, and on the street interviews! I really was expecting something different and unique. This show is nothing more than a huge let down. Do yourself a favor, and just skip the CW channel at 9PM. IF I want to see two thirty somethings give the news and weather, I can always watch the Weather channel. Even the Weather channel is more entertaining than the CW News at 9! Peace!
Does Karla Huelga enjoy throwing Tantrums?
So what happened with Karla and the KVIA Channel 7 9PM broadcast? Karla and Stephanie were suppose to be a 9PM team right? Now I am hearing that Nichole Gomez is suppose to take Karla’s spot? What is going on? Did Karla throw a tantrum over having to work during the week or something? What am I missing here? You know one thing that I have noticed about Karla Tantrum Huelga is that she has a temper problem. You can tell when the newscast is coming to a close. If she is not given the chance to give her quick weather forecast, she immediately develops a frown. Really! The next time you decide to watch the afternoon KVIA news, pay very close attention to Karla’s face. Another thing that I have noticed is that she does not have a sense of humor. She never laughs at anything that is considered to be funny or slightly humorous. Hey Karla, I have a suggestion for you, you should remove the stick that is currently stuck in your arsehole! Peace!
True Stories about Local News Media People:Nicole Ayoub is a BAD driver!
The Mercedes CLS 500 is not a coupe!
Okay you have waited long enough for this crappy story! A few years ago when KDBC was still located on 2201 Wyoming drive, I had the unfortunate experience of running into Nicole Ayoub. At that time she was driving a dark red Mercedes CLS500. I have no idea as to whether she still owns that car or not. Anyways, to make a short story even shorter I was in my Sierra Denali approaching a set of traffic lights located at the intersection of Wyoming and Cotton street. As I was some feet away from the traffic light, that infamous red CLS comes speeding down the second lane of Wyoming. With the space between the front of my truck and the lights becoming shorter, Nichole decides to force her way into that space, almost hitting the side of my front bumper. To put it in even more simple terms, she cut me off! So the light eventually turns green, and she speeds down Wyoming headed towards the KDBC studios. She parks at KDBC, and runs into the building like Ms.Lighting. So why was Nicole Ayoub driving like a moron that day? My guess is that she probably wanted to get her last paycheck and some free candy before KDBC closed down! Knowing what I know now about her poor driving habits, she should look into a career as a NASCAR driver! If I can remember correctly, this took place in the fall of 2009. To be exact, this event occurred in late October of 2009. I hope you enjoyed reading my crappy story. It is the complete and honest truth! Peace! I would like to add one more thing, how in the blue hell can Mercedes even call the CLS a coupe? I thought a coupe was suppose to have two doors? Am I right about this? Wait a minute! I am right!
