KVIA EMail Exposed!

KVIA Emails Revealed!
I received these email messages a few days ago. Enjoy them!

From:Stephanie Valle <ANOREXICDIVA@kvia.com>
To:Karla Huelga <REDPUBESAREHOT@kvia.com>

Hey Karla, when do you want to have a vomit session? I cannot believe that I ate two carrot sticks and a slice of bread! I feel like such a pig for eating so much food! I need to expel all of this junk food ASAP! Meet me at the bathroom at 12:00 PM sharp!

 

From Rick Cabrera <BALDINGPEARSHAPEDHEAD@kvia.com>
To Nichole Gomez <HOTBUNZ@kvia.com>

Hey Nicki, I have to profess my lus…. I mean love for you right now! Is it not obvious to you and every viewer in El Crappo and in Las Cacas that I love you more than my job! How about you dump that tax write-off Randy Culpepper and become my wife! Your name would sound so much better as Nichole Gomez Culpepper Cabrera II.

 

From:Estella Casas <HOTGRANDMA@kvia.com>
To:Kevin Lowell <SKINNYDORK@kvia.com>

Hey jerk off, if you do not increase my pay, I will force you to listen to a demo tape that I made in the 1980s! It features covers of Billy Ocean and Peter Cetera songs! The last track features my Mommy! She does an acapella version of “Relax” from Frankie Does Hollywood! It is so bad that it will make your ears bleed for days!

 

From:Collin Carroll <HOWDYDOODYGINGER@kvia.com)
To:Kevin Lowell <SKINNYDORK@kvia.com>

Hey man, you should have given me Asher Wildman’s position! You know damn well that the position belonged to me and not Screwy Del Rio! Just for that I am going to mail my red ass hairs to you and every member in your family! Take that you skinny dork!

 

To:Josie Ortegon <INEEDTOLEARNHOWTOREAD@kvia.com>
From:Luke Lyddon <NEWSSTUD@kvia.com>

Hey Josie my Latin delight, how about you come over tonight and I tutor you on how to read correctly! That sounds like fun right?

 

From:Krystal Klei <INEEDSUNLIGHT@kvia.com>
To:Bob Harp <ILOOKSICKLY@kvia.com>

Hey Bob! You and I should go out and get a tan! Everybody and their mom keeps on telling me that I am so pale that they can see right through my body!

 

From:Denise Olivas <ANYONECANDOMYJOB@kvia.com>
To:Kevin Lowell <SKINNYDORK@kvia.com>

Please Kevin do not fire me! I need my job! If you do fire me, I will release that picture of you and Dan Rather wrestling naked in Mexico! I know that I am horrible at what I do, but that does not give you the right to fire me and then hire a Chimpanzee to take my place! Remember I can damage you!

 

From:Darren Hunt <DEGENERATEGAMBLER@kvia.com>
To:Kevin Lowell <SKINNYDORK@kvia.com>

Hey Kev! I just want to let you know that I am quitting my job next week! I am finally going to work for the Chihuauas! After reviewing my crappy resume, they finally decided to give me a job as a mascot! Hey I know that it is not the job that I wanted, but hey at least I am working for the best team in the Southwest! I will catch you later, I have to visit the Sunland Park race track and spend my fifty dollar pay check! Tomorrow Chuck Debroder and I will visit TItle Loans! We are going to use our loans to make stupid bets online! Toodles!

So what happened to the Wal-Mart Greeter?

greetmeet

For many years you could always count on being greeted(harassed) by an older Wal-Mart employee 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Sometime in 2012, Wal-Mart made the decision to eliminate the Wal-Mart Harasser from each and every location in the country! I immediately took notice in 2012 when I visited my local Wally World. The smell of Ben-Gay, oatmeal, and Brut cologne was no longer present at the entrances and exits of Wal-Mart. That familiar scent was now replaced with the aroma of a toxic Asian nail salon or the scent of cheap asses purchasing Great Value brand cookies and chicken wings. So why did Wal-Mart eliminate the Harasser/Greeter from their stores? Quite simply, Wal-Mart was tired of paying for these Harassers medical bills after having their wrinkly butts kicked in by angry middle class Wally World customers! The smell of Ben-Gay along with being asked to show your receipt was driving every man and woman crazy! Customers had enough and began to revolt against these Greeters (Harassers). Many of these Harassers were being assaulted on a daily basis. Wal-Mart was faced with a dilemma, they either had to eliminate the monsters that they created or cut back on purchasing crap made in China! So eventually Wal-Mart decided to let go or reassign their beloved Harassers. So there you have it! That is why you no longer see Grandma and Grandpa asking you for your receipt or searching your bag for no good reason anymore!

Cloud storage is for Dorks!

Oh the great big old cloud on the net! Why would anyone want to store their personal information or private photos on a server/computer that they do not own? Your most personal or private moments should be stored in your mind/brain, not on a hard drive or a piece of removable media. We as a society have become way too dependent on social media, smartphones, and modern day technology in general. We need to live in a more simple world and reduce our use of these devices and services. Do we really need a phone that can do everything imaginable? Do we really need to let the world know that we just took a number two and ate a big bucket of chicken on Facebook? Seriously people, we need to get our act together!

Writer’s Block has struck The City Workshop!

Here at The City Workshop, we have developed Writer’s Block! It can be attributed to the fact that we no longer care about the local or national media. Seriously! How many times can you write about this anchor or that reporter, and the stories/reports that are filled with inaccuracies? Actually, we have yet to write about any reports or stories that are filled with half truths or lies. That is one thing that we should have done. Actually we wrote a few entries, but decided to scrap them. They were long and a bit on the boring side. So as far as anchors, reporters, and weather heads are concerned, we will no longer write or criticize them on this site. Instead, we will create parody videos and cartoons of them, and upload them to Youtube. I am sure that you are thinking to yourself, why are you doing this? Writing about your favorite anchor/reporter just became old to us. We will now focus our attention on actual news stories, Hollywood d-bags, and d-bags that hold powerful positions. Every now and then we will present a few true stories like we always have in the past and present.

 

We have one more entry that we are working on, it will be the last and final entry related to news anchors and reporters. It should be posted before Tuesday. If you have questions about an anchor, reporter, or a news station, I will be more than happy to answer them. Well, take care everyone, and never give up on your dreams or goals!

 

 

 

Louie Del Rio is……………………..

One annoying mofo! Has anybody seen this guy do a sports segment? As God is my witness, this dork cannot remain still for ten seconds! He has a tendency to move around a lot like a fish out of water! Seriously! He keeps on moving his upper body from side to side, and it also appears that he his fidgeting with papers or his crotch! Is this guy on speed or is he just nervous? Oh another thing that I noticed is that his face has a red flushed appearance. So maybe he is on something? Who knows? You be the judge! Anyway, Collin Carroll should have been given the weekday sports position, not this nervous thirty something with a teeny bopper hairdo! As much as Collin’s news reports annoy me, he is a better sports anchor/sports reporter than Louie “Speed Head” Del Rio! I honestly thought that Collin would be given Asher’s old position. Well I should not get worked up over this guy and neither should you! He will probably spend a year or less here, and will eventually get a position in Miami as Tony Montana’s supply tester! Peace!